Confidence is very individual and means different things to each of us. Many people believe that they will finally feel body confident when they lose enough weight, get in shape, or get that perfect haircut or piece of clothing. While it is true that all of these things can make you more confident, true body confidence comes from the inside. It is based on the way you feel about yourself, flaws and all.
We are bombarded by images of airbrushed perfection and we think that is what we are expected to aspire to. I am here to tell you that being sexy and attractive, as with confidence is all a state of mind- if you don’t feel amazing inside it won’t be expressed on the outside! 80-90 % of women dislike their bodies and many would go under the knife, though could save thousands by simply changing their psychology!
Although it may seem impossible, we all have the resources already to be confident; it’s just a case of unlocking the key and that is when we are unstoppable! To begin with, check how confident you feel sitting here now and scale it out of 10- 0 being feeling no confidence at all, or 10 feeling super confident.
We often think having a facial or a makeover will make us feel better, though it is how we feel inside that affects how we see ourselves and how confident we act and speak. Around 90% of how we communicate to others is through our bodies and only 8% is through our words so we cannot not communicate!
First of all, I want to tell you a story that I heard about a plastic surgeon whose job is to make ugly people beautiful. He worked out mathematically that the difference between being ugly and beautiful is just a few millimetres- the difference is so small and yet this idea may seem impossible to us it shows that “when it seems impossible, when it seems like nothing will work, you’re usually just a few millimetres from making it happen.” It also takes us making the first step towards deciding to change the way we think, feel and behave to bring about a transformation.
Here are my top Body Confident Insights:
· Remember you are unique and stop comparison shopping. Do you ever do that when you’re shopping? We start looking at other women in the street or in magazines or our friends and it’s “oh I’m not as talented, beautiful, slim as her”. But how do you know that you’re not? We all are unique and have our own model of the world which is how we interpret our experience of the world. So that begs the question- what is reality? Do I want to create my own reality or one based on someone else’s?
· Whenever you start comparing yourself to some mythical perfection just tell yourself to STOP IT! Instead say over and over again “I am unique.” When you feel the urge to fit in look closely at what makes YOU different and special? Those things are what make you special and unique in this world- remember that.
· Exercise- “I’m sexy and confident, yes but...” When you can’t see beyond your buts, focus on where that is in your body- is that feeling in your stomach, your head- is it moving? Close your eyes and focus on what it feels like, looks like and then imagine melting or shifting that energy out of your body- almost like it is liquid you are flowing out of your body and then let it go. Check if there is any other energy that needs shifting and do the same until you feel clear. How does that feel now?
· Pick your best assets. When you focus on one part of your body, it is almost like you are that part- you are not your rounded tummy or your bingo wings- you are a WHOLE person- mind, body spirit. This was a revelation to one of my clients who are asked to focus on her lovely legs for a month instead of her tummy which she hated. She then forgot about her hang ups and started wearing skirts and dresses to show them off. Where attention goes, energy flows. – My best assets are my... I feel sexy when... Focus on that part or parts and really pay attention to those good feelings- feel them spread through your body and mind and feel them grow and expand.
· Exercise- vamp it up! Mental rehearsal- I want you to pick the sexiest woman alive (in your opinion)- It may be a celebrity or it may be someone you know. I want you to get an image of her in your head as if she is standing right in front of you. Stand in her shoes for a moment, feeling what you feel, hearing what you hear. How does she stand, sit, walk, express herself? Where does that feeling of confidence start in her body and what colour would it be? Imagine yourself stepping outside of her body, taking those feelings of confidence with you then imagine yourself in the future taking all those resources with you and differently you look and feel in this time. Do this for different points in the future and anchor those feelings as strongly as you can.
· Remember, confidence is like a mental muscle that needs exercising until it becomes stronger until it becomes your natural state of being. You are what you believe you are, you will become what you expect to become. When clients work with me they discover this.
· To continue your progress into the New Year and beyond, I am offering one lucky winner the chance to have a Personal coaching session with me looking at your blocks and barriers to achieving your goals and create an action plan to catapult you into success for 2011! Just email me your name and address.
Alexandra Bacon is a certified Advanced EFT Practitioner, Counsellor, Bach Flower Remedy Practitioner, Wellbeing consultant and Trainer. To book your personalised treatment session please call Alexandra on 01629 825968/ 07950 568635. www.lotusheal.co.uk