“Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit!” – Frank McKinney Hubbard.
Christmas can be a very stressful time of year – so much planning and
organising, living up to expectations, spending time with that Uncle you hate,
making sure everything is perfect…There
are lots of things you can do to prevent the Christmas stress from getting to
you.
Some top tips are:
Give up unrealistic Internal Demands: Too many people at
Christmas think “Everyone must have a good time” or “I must organise things
perfectly”. Therapist Yvonne Wildi says that
“Magazines, shops and television
programmes create an almost impossible to achieve level of perfection which
often bears little in relation to reality but many of us still feel driven to
try and achieve the fantasy.”
To set yourself such
idealistic targets is surely going to add to your stress greatly. It’s much
better to think of things in a more flexible way. You’re not responsible for
other people’s enjoyment – they are.
Stop hoping to reach the impossible levels of expectation, as it’s not going to
happen.
Try not to Pressurise yourself: This is closely
related to the internal demands, but on a more basic level. If you don’t reach
your targets, never mind. Try again tomorrow.
Stop Catastrophising: Something might go wrong and you think “This
is awful! It’s the end of the world!” but really just sit back, relax and try
to look at the situation. Be rational about the problem. Is it really “awful”
or is it just an annoying hassle? Looking at things rationally will help you
deal with things better and find a solution for these (often trivial) problems.
Look after Yourself: With everything going on, we might forget
to eat or drink or take some time out. Make sure you eat well and healthily,
drink enough fluid, and have time to relax. Meeting these criteria will keep
your body at a normal level and help you concentrate better on the tasks ahead.
When dealing with Teens: At Christmas some parents act in
certain ways or say certain things that push their teenagers back into “Child
mode”. Try to remember that they are young
adults now, and will not want to do the same things as they used to. By
treating them with respect and talking to them in a mature way, you can ensure
that any conflicts or “Stop babying me!” situations will be avoided.
Dealing with Loss or Grief at Christmas: Christmas can be a
dark and lonely place for those who are suffering loss. It will draw your
attention to those who “Should be there but aren’t” and often make you feel sad
and even guilty for continuing without them. The glaring happiness others feel
can sometimes have a negative effect, but just try to remember that although
loved ones are gone, loved ones still remain. Try to enjoy your time with your
friends and family as much as possible, whilst fondly thinking of those who are
no longer with you. It’s okay to feel sad at Christmas.
Remember not
to forget the main point of Christmas and allow any stress diminish from the
pleasure of enjoying time with family and friends. As Calvin Coolidge says:
"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish
peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of
Christmas."
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