How your Eyes are the Key to Releasing your Past

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”  Wayne Dyer

In the film, Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind, lovers Joel and Clementine (Jim Carey and Kate Winslet) try and erase their memories of each other following a fight.  As you watch the film in reverse, you witness the memories through the perspective of Joel’s unconscious mind as they are erased.  A lot of us might identify with wanting that ‘quick fix’ to dissolve the pain of our past or to get over a distressing ending in our lives.  Trauma does need time to process though being able to quickly detach from past memories and emotional pain is no longer the stuff of movies. 

A new form of treatment “Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing” (EMDR) developed by Francine Shapiro in the 1980’s has been shown to effectively help sufferers of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as well as other Anxiety, phobia and Mood disorders. The effectiveness of EMDR Therapy has been well established as the result of more than 20 randomized controlled studies. The idea of this therapy is to recall the experiences in a safe, comfortable environment, and this helps the individual to realise that they are no longer under threat, which reduces their anxiety and stress.

A Typical EMDR procedure:

1.   The therapist will discuss any expectations with you and what you want to achieve through the treatment. This is often to ensure that desires are realistic and they know how it can benefit them.

2.   The therapist then explains how the procedure will be carried out, and if you give consent, they will begin.

3.   First you are taught a simple breathing exercise to help with anxiety – facing your fears can be very stressful, and it’s important that they is calm and relaxed. A typical breathing exercise here is to breathe in through nose for 7 seconds, and out through the mouth for 11 seconds – this combination is known to trigger neurons in the brain associated with peace and relaxation.

4.   They begin; the therapist moves their finger in front of your eyes, continuing to do so, and you will find that their eyes naturally follow it, and that you get into the rhythm. 

5.   The therapist will then gently ask a question, such as “What was your first experience of ___?” or “How did you react to ____?” to get to the first memory to process. Of course, if they are not comfortable enough to answer, the therapist will not persist and the EMDR will continue regardless.

6.   The therapist then begins processing the memory and asks what you notice on each set of taps or eye movements every 15-30 second intervals. You will typically experience a change in the memories and feelings as the process continues and you feel more relaxed. I describe it as being on a train where the scenery changes but not getting off at any stop. 

7.   Towards the end of the therapy, you will be asked to visualise leaving through a doorway – this symbolises the end of an experience, leaving the memories and the pain behind. 

8.   Once the EMDR is finished, you will do more calming breathing exercises, and you will discuss with the therapist how you felt. Typically, treatment needed is between 2-4 sessions depending on the issue.

There are many variations of the EMDR procedure, including simple eye movements, watching an LED light travel and flash, listening to tones and many more.

Although EMDR is a budding, young method of therapy, it has been shown as very effective and more recent research has shown it to be helpful to sufferers of many things; eating disorders, addictions, OCD, panic attacks and anxiety. It is a safe therapy with no side effects.

Alexandra Bacon is an experienced EMDR Therapist based in the East Midlands. 

Looking out for Men's Mental Health

“If you add loneliness to depression, you really are in a world of… appalling pain.” – Stephen Fry

Men are beginning to seek more help through their GP's and visit therapists more than they were before.  A stigma still remains however around admitting to suffering from a mental health problem which creates further isolation and often a sense of hopelessness and despair. Suicide rates have shown that men are three to four times more likely to commit suicide than women.  We need to consider why that is, and what we can do to address it.

Possible reasons for higher rates of male suicide include: 

•     Men are less likely than women to talk about their feelings – they tend to isolate themselves.

• Men are less likely to seek professional help (e.g. counselling, therapy, medication) than women.

• Men have higher rates of drug and alcohol misuse than women, and are much more likely to use this to mask their symptoms of depression.

• They demonstrate their feelings externally (e.g. shouting, getting angry) and close things off internally (e.g. “I’m fine”)

And, above all:

• Social ideals and pressures of masculinity demands that men “Stay strong” or, here’s a good one, “man up”.

It must be recognised and understood that men too are victims of domestic violence, sexual violence such as rape, and violence and abuse from other men. It is all too overlooked; as a society we often think of women as being more vulnerable to these things, especially the domestic and sexual violence, but this is not the case. It is possible that men simply do not report the incidents as often, because they are maybe embarrassed or ashamed. 

What can we do about this?

Men’s Minds Matter is an organisation that hopes to better raise awareness of male problems and mental health issues, and also to provide support for those and the families of those who are affected. They have been “working closely with other psychologists, professionals and organisations to develop ideas on how to improve the psychological wellbeing of men and boys” says the Director of Men’s Minds Matter, Dr Luke Sullivan. Through this, they have begun The Men’s Institute, which as well as being very useful is another step to recognising that men need this support, as well as women do. 

If would like more information about this matter or no someone who might benefit from it, visit http://www.mensmindsmatter.com/ or http://www.mensmindsmatter.com/the-mens-institute.html for resources and support.

Other organisations such as Mind http://www.mind.org.uk/ and Time to Change http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/ will also be useful, and also Terry Real’s book, “I don't Want to Talk About it: The Secret Legacy of Male Depression” is a very good and helpful read.

Considering visiting your GP or speaking to a Therapist might also help you to start resolving some of your underlying issues and gain more support.  For more information on our services, visit www.lotus-therapeutics.com.

How Lying & Keeping Secrets Affects our Health

“The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception” – Friedrich Nietzsche.

There are many reasons why a person might start to tell lies. It may be that they have something to gain from it, or that they are protecting someone who might be hurt by the truth- or, that they are ashamed or feel guilty about something.  They may not want to worry those around them if the truth turns out to be negative, such as finding out the results of hospital tests for example.  Alternatively, it could be a white lie, such as “I am too tired to go out tonight" to avoid conflict or please others.

According to Harvard psychologist William Pollack, Ph.D, telling lies and keeping secrets can actually be bad for your health. Of course, we all know that certain lies need to be told and certain secrets must be kept. We just have to make sure we know when to lie or when to tell the truth.

When to do which

Tell the truth if:

·      Someone asks you outright – if you lie to someone directly, chances are that if they find out you will have damaged the trust within that relationship. Your friend, relative or partner will always remember it and never be sure whether you’re telling the truth or not in the future.

·      It’s making you tense and anxious – If you’re keeping a secret or have begun to tell lies and it’s making you nervous, tense and wound up, it’s better to come clean and put yourself (and everyone around you) out of their misery.

·      The situation isn’t too bad yet – If you can see things getting worse it’s good to come clean, especially if you think there might be ways to solve the problem or solutions that can be thought of behind the reason you lied/kept a secret.

Keep the secret or continue lying if:

·      It’s not your secret – Telling someone else’s secret might lead to gossip as well as breaking that person’s trust. Also, that person might have decided they want to sort it out themselves, and so you will shame them by getting there first. If it’s not your business it’s better not to trouble with it and support their decision in whether or not to tell.

·      You intend to tell it within days – Sometimes “Now just isn’t the right time”, and that’s okay. These things are better dealt with if everyone is in a good mood and ready to talk deeply about an issue.

So How do Lies and Secrets Affect my Health?

1.    Telling lies or keeping secrets is prone to making you anxious and on edge. Having something on your mind all the time isn’t good for you, especially if it’s linked to danger, e.g. someone finding out and exposing you, or the worry of others getting hurt etc. This makes us begin a “fight or flight” response, in which adrenaline is constantly in our bodies, which can be damaging long term and cause illnesses such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

2.    Telling lies or keeping secrets distract you from your daily routine – you are more likely to make mistakes, forget things, and make physical activities seem more difficult.

3.    Sometimes the secret itself is something you should be talking about. Having a “Big secret” can be very taxing if you have no one you feel you can tell, and therefore are not getting the appropriate support from family and friends. If you need someone to talk to but feel you have nowhere to turn, you might be better off talking to a therapist, calling a helpline such as the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90,  or asking for help on an internet forum.

Try and do what’s best for yourself and the people you love. This might involve making a difficult choice or coming clean about something.  Whether you choose to lie or tell the truth, keep the secret or reveal it, think about whether or not it is justified, and if the good consequences outweigh the bad.

 

Anti Depressants- do they really work?

“Pain could be killed. Sadness could not, but the drugs did shut its mouth for a time.”  Colson Whitehead, Zone One

There is currently a debate around whether Anti depressants are being overused for treating Depression and if there is really a strong enough evidence base for them.

Statistics show that at least 1 in 10 people in the UK suffer from depression, it’s prevalence being slightly higher in women, with 1 in 20 of sufferers being as a result of clinical depression.  Anti depressant prescriptions in the UK have increased by 9.6% in 2011, to 46 million prescriptions and continue to rise.

There is no question that most people with Depression report a reduction in their symptoms though research shows that improvement appears to be due to psychological factors, i.e., the placebo effect.  Evidence is currently inconclusive about how much the Placebo effect is involved. We could ask, how much of the effectiveness of medication is due to the active ingredients and the non Placebo effect?

From my own experiences of working with hundreds of clients with Depression, both Clinical (i.e. from a chemical Serotonin imbalance) and ‘Reactive’ (as a result of a response to an event or stressor), Anti Depressants do have their place.  Many initially report an improvement using Anti Depressants though often, alone they aren’t enough to resolve the underlying factors that cause it in the first place and that help maintain it.  For instance, taking a pill when experiencing work stress may buffer against some of the negative emotional effects though unless the underlying triggers are addressed, things may not change long term. With some clients, Anti Depressants have little effect or in some cases, cause a worsening of symptoms as a result of unpleasant side effects.

Dr Ian Reid, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Aberdeen, says "Antidepressants are but one element available in the treatment of depression, not a panacea,"…they can have harmful side effects, and they certainly don't help everyone with the disorder. But they are not overprescribed. Careless reportage has demonised them in the public eye, adding to the stigmatisation of mental illness, and erecting unnecessary barriers to effective care." 

The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) guidelines doesn’t promote the use of Anti depressants as a first port of call for treating moderate depression though instead advocates talking therapies such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and Interpersonal Therapy initially. Often however, long NHS waiting lists prevent individuals accessing services.  GP’s only option then is to prescribe medication to patients when there are few alternatives available.

Posing my question at the beginning, is there enough evidence to support the widespread use of Anti Depressants; one might argue, if it makes people feel better, why worry about how that happens? Perhaps the individual’s belief in the pill as well as the scientific base causes the improvement.  Often, the therapeutic benefit of talking about our problems and expressing our feelings to a professional such as a GP is part of the healing effect;  ‘It’s good to talk’ as BT says.

The promotion of medication alone however, dismisses the wider implications of creating a culture of ‘pill popping’ rather than addressing underlying causes and socioeconomic factors.   We should be asking why has depression become endemic, not only in the UK but worldwide and how can we change it? In our modern ‘quick fix’ society, we are prone to avoiding the real issues when we need to take a move in the direction of change and start doing something differently. 

Men and Depression: The Internal Conflict

“Depression is rage spread thin” - George Santayana

Depression affects 6 million men every year in America alone.  Reasons for depression that men have reported include: trouble in an important relationship, unemployment, pregnancy or childbirth, separation/divorce, retirement, and work stress.

There is a lot of pressure upon men in our society to maintain a sense of “masculinity” and being a “real man”. Sometimes this means that when a man feels desperate, lonely or depressed – he will hide his feelings and keep things bottled up. Because of this, men are three times more likely to commit suicide than women (statistic from the Royal College of Psychiatrists).

There is a common misconception that women are the more body conscious, the more emotional and the more soulful of the sexes – but this is not true. A man may look into the mirror and hate his appearance, doubting himself for not being muscular enough, for being short, not having much chest hair etc. Similarly, men feel the same emotional range as women and can also suffer from depression or anxiety. They just tend to keep it much more hidden.

If you think you know a man who is suffering with depression, be sensitive about it. He may not want to admit to himself or you that he is out of his depth. Men traditionally see themselves as having a lot of responsibility; earn the wage, be the protector, be man of the house. And when they start to struggle they see it as a failure. A crisis of masculinity, if you like.

Things you need to know and look for concerning Male Depression:

·         Coping Mechanisms – Male coping mechanisms differ a lot from female coping strategies. A man might throw himself into an activity, focussing a lot on work or sport to avoid dealing with his problems or distract himself. Also, the man in question might resort to impulsive strategies such as alcohol or drugs to cope with the feelings they are experiencing.

·         Downplaying signs or symptoms – Men are much more likely to ignore or justify the feelings they are experiencing than females.

·         Reluctance to discuss things – Men probably wont want to discuss they feelings with anyone, let alone a mental health professional. It’s better to reach out to your man in a caring, casual way when encouraging to seek help, e.g. “It’s probably nothing darling, but it might be worth just popping to see Dr Smith in case he has any suggestions” than “You are depressed and I’m taking you to see a Psychiatrist on Monday!”.

·         Emotions – Men are likely to feel anger, violence or frustration rather than sadness when they are depressed.

·         Physical vs Emotional – Males are likely to report feelings of physical pain such as headaches, backaches, dizziness, chest and joint pain rather than emotional discomfort.

If you think that your partner, son, brother, father or male friend is suffering from depression, try to encourage them to seek help from a Doctor or Psychotherapist without pressuring them or making a big “fuss” about it. The Royal College of Psychiatrists offers helpful information here:

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/expertadvice/problems/depression/mendepression.aspx